Charlie’s Toolbox

How to Find Your Voice When Family Expectations Drown Out Your Truth | Decentering Family for Self-Discovery

Have you ever felt like your family's voice is so loud, you can't hear your own? In this episode, we're diving into one of the most challenging but necessary journeys of adulthood: learning to prioritize your own voice over family expectations.
This isn't about abandoning the people who raised you; it's about creating the space you need to discover who you actually are beneath the layers of inherited beliefs, expectations, and advice that may not align with the life you truly want to live.
Whether your family is warm and supportive or domineering and rigid, this episode offers practical tools for anyone who's ever struggled to separate their own desires from what they were taught to want.
You'll discover:
Why distance (physical, mental, or spiritual) is a tool for growth, not a punishment
Five practical strategies for stepping back and protecting your energy
How to finally hear your own voice after years of listening to everyone else
The role your body plays in recognizing what's truly aligned for you
Why "clearing the field" is essential before you can grow into who you're meant to be
This episode is for the woman who's ready to stop living by someone else's blueprint and start honoring her own truth—without guilt, without apology, and with full permission to be beautifully selfish.
If you've ever needed validation that it's okay to choose yourself, this is it.

Are You Hiding Behind Heaven? Why "God's Will" Might Be Keeping You Stuck (And What to Do Instead)

What if the very beliefs meant to guide you are actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, we explore a hidden pattern that traps millions in cycles of repeated mistakes, unclear direction, and unresolved problems. You'll discover why certain phrases you've relied on your entire life might be stopping you from thinking, and what to do about it. By the end, you'll have a framework to recognize when you're giving away your power and practical steps to reclaim it. Warning: This conversation will challenge what you've always been told.

The Fleabag Effect: What a Chaotic Character Taught Us About Self-Acceptance

What if the voice in your head didn't have to be your worst enemy? In this episode, we explore the exhausting cycle of perfectionism, why we replay our failures on loop, and what it takes to finally make peace with the messy, complicated parts of ourselves. Through the lens of one beloved TV character's journey from self-destruction to self-acceptance, we uncover what it really means to be worthy of love, flaws and all. If you've ever felt like you need to fix yourself before you deserve compassion, this conversation is for you.

How to Choose Yourself Part 3: Career Architecture

What if everything you were taught about career success was designed to keep you working harder while staying trapped? In this episode, we're dismantling the traditional career playbook and rebuilding it around one goal: your freedom.
This is pillar five of choosing yourself: Career Architecture. We're getting strategic about money, security, and designing work that actually serves your life. We're talking about how to navigate systems that weren't built for you, why single women especially need to be ruthless about income, and the truth about what freedom actually costs. Should you climb the corporate ladder? Build multiple income streams? Work remote? Hire help? We're breaking down exactly what career architecture means when the goal isn't just success, it's sovereignty.
If you've ever felt like you're working hard but not building toward freedom, this episode will change how you think about your career.

How to Choose Yourself Part 2: The Foundation That Changes Everything

What if the reason you can't seem to stick to choosing yourself has nothing to do with willpower? In this episode, we dive into the two pillars that determine whether all your other self-improvement efforts actually last.
I share a conversation that completely shifted how I think about relationships, plus the family dynamics that tried to keep me small (and how I broke free). We're talking about the systems that either support your sovereignty or undermine it at every turn.
This is Part 2 of our series on the five pillars of choosing yourself. If you missed Part 1 on financial autonomy and body freedom, catch up first, then come back for the foundation that makes it all possible.
Ready to stop letting other people's comfort zones determine your life choices? Let's get into it.
Subscribe for more episodes on choosing yourself unapologetically.

What does it really mean to "choose yourself" as a woman?

Beyond the buzzwords and Instagram quotes lies a practical framework for reclaiming your power in five critical areas of life. This isn't about self-care Sunday or positive affirmations; it's about the concrete choices that determine whether you're living on your own terms or someone else's.
In this episode, we dive deep into the real-world strategies that transform abstract concepts like "self-love" into actionable steps. Through powerful personal stories and sociological insights, discover why certain life decisions can be the difference between freedom and dependence, between thriving and merely surviving.
If you've ever wondered how to move beyond theoretical empowerment to actual autonomy, this conversation will give you the roadmap. Some truths might be uncomfortable, but they're the ones that change everything.
Ready to stop living someone else's version of your life?

What to Do When You've Never Been in a Relationship

Have you ever wondered what happens when romantic love just... doesn't happen? In a world obsessed with finding 'the one,' we rarely talk openly about what it's like to navigate life without ever experiencing a romantic relationship and the complex emotions that come with it.
In this episode, we explore the deeper questions many are afraid to ask: Is it personal? Is it fixable? And how do you find peace when society tells you something essential is missing from your life?
This isn't about dating tips or promises that love is just around the corner. Instead, we dive into a different perspective entirely, one that might challenge everything you've been told about love, worth, and what makes a life complete.
Join me for an honest conversation about yearning, societal expectations, and finding a way forward that doesn't require you to change who you are or wait for someone else to validate your existence.
If you're ready for a different kind of conversation about love and life, this episode is for you.

Beyond the Roles: Embracing Your Fluid Identity with Kay Davenport

What happens when the roles that once defined you begin to shift? In this deeply personal conversation, Kay Davenport opens up about the profound journey of navigating evolving identity as a woman, mother, and entrepreneur. This episode is for any woman who has ever felt the ground shift beneath her feet as she stepped into new roles or wondered how to stay true to herself while everything around her was changing.
Whether you're navigating new motherhood, a career shift, or simply feeling like your current identity no longer fits, this episode offers both practical wisdom and profound permission to embrace the woman you're becoming.
Key Themes Explored
The profound identity shifts that come with motherhood and entrepreneurship
How to integrate new roles without losing essential parts of yourself
Navigating seasons when identity feels like "shifting sand"
The power of viewing identity as continuous evolution

Why Shame Blinds You to What's Extraordinary

What if the thing you think is broken about you is actually proof of something extraordinary?
There's a hidden filter that's been distorting how you see yourself, your mistakes, and your struggles. It's keeping you from recognizing the incredible strength that's been there all along, disguised as your deepest shame.
In this episode, we dive into why shame doesn't just make you feel bad but literally changes what you're able to see. We explore how the stories you tell yourself about your "failures" might be missing the most important part: the extraordinary resilience it took to survive them.
From Elizabeth Gilbert's wisdom about finding people extraordinary in their brokenness, to Earl Sweatshirt's journey from ironic detachment to sincere living, we unpack why the most courageous thing you can do is stop trying to outwit being human.
This isn't about toxic positivity or pretending your pain doesn't matter. It's about developing the artist's eye: the ability to find beauty in what feels broken, and to see the complex, magnificent story of survival that your life actually is.
If you've ever felt like you're fundamentally flawed, if you've been waiting to become "worthy" before you can see yourself as extraordinary, this episode is for you. It's time to remove the filter that's been hiding your own magnificence from your sight.
What You'll Discover: • Why shame creates blind spots that keep you from seeing your own resilience • The cultural lie about what "extraordinary" people look like • How to shift from binary thinking to seeing the beautiful complexity of human experience • A simple practice for catching shame-based thinking in real time • Why your messiest moments might be evidence of your greatest strength
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The Art of Becoming: A Conversation with Oyin Edogi

What does it really take to discover your true calling? In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Oyin Edogi to explore the pivotal moments that shaped her journey of self-discovery. Oyin opens up about the uncertainty and exploration that defined her twenties - that crucial decade when societal expectations collide with personal truth. We dive deep into how she navigated the pressure to follow conventional paths while staying true to her evolving sense of self. This isn't just another career story. It's about the messy, beautiful process of becoming who you're meant to be. Oyin shares the mindset shifts, bold decisions, and quiet moments of clarity that led her to claim ownership of her life and pursue her authentic passion.
 
Whether you're in your twenties questioning everything or at any stage of life considering a pivot, this conversation offers honest insights about creating a life that truly belongs to you.
Key Topics:
Breaking free from external expectations
The courage to explore in your twenties
How to recognize your authentic calling
Making the transition from uncertainty to clarity
Taking ownership of your life's direction